Society shows very little compassion for babies and small children, and their parents
Recently, there have been many complaints in the media about the ‘torture’ suffered by passengers on long-haul flights having to share that crowded and restrictive space with screaming babies and tantrum-throwing toddlers. These passengers make their feelings clear, both verbally and with hostile stares, blaming the parents for not having control over their children. The parents then accuse these passengers of lacking kindness and patience; this unhappy atmosphere is quickly picked up by the small child, causing their protests to intensify.
What must it be like to be a small child in this situation? The parents are already stressed by the preparation for this flight, the packing, getting the pets to catteries and kennels, arrangements for the plants to be watered – have they cancelled the papers and the post, have they switched off plugs and switches, have they got their passports and tickets, and a suitable toy or book for the child, will they get to the airport in time (and will the flight then be cancelled)? A stressed parent means a stressed child.
Perhaps we really do need to put ourselves into the mind of that small child and imagine what it must be like to arrive in a huge and crowded building, full of stressed-out people, loud announcements booming overhead, standing in interminable queues of anxious people and then, eventually, being confronted by the enormous ‘plane, which can be very frightening to a small child, although a thing of wonder and delight to an older child. Then being hurried towards that fearsome metal monster, carried up the steps and then your parent is squeezing through the aisle between rows of seats, trying to find the allocated place, then attempting to stow luggage in the overhead locker, while trying to remember what their child will need for the journey.
The little ones are then strapped in, leaving kicking the seat in front as their only response to this restriction, which starts the ‘war’ with the row in front. The stressed parent is then cross, which makes their small child cry, which causes more unpleasantness; the child is now both cross and hungry, but the food is unfamiliar and angry instructions to ‘stop crying and eat your lunch’ make everything worse.
We all need to remember what babies and toddlers need from the moment they’re born: gentle reassuring touch, talk and loving eye-contact, building trust to create the bond whereby the parent understands what the baby wants and the baby knows there will be a loving response. But, when in a stressful environment, like a crowded ‘plane in which one will be ‘imprisoned’ for several hours, this is difficult. Society shows very little compassion for babies and small children, and their parents, in these stressful conditions; parents could, unless the journey is essential, wait until children are old enough to react with more social poise – perhaps! – and critical onlookers should not endeavour to make the situation worse. Children need to see kind faces and smiles, they need to be welcomed by ‘grown-ups’ who understand what it’s like to be small and frightened in an unfamiliar world, and then perhaps society will become a nicer and kinder place.